He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
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This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
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Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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