sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
should my penis look like a turkey
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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