At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
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Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
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So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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