If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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