I am spending my child support on dildos
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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