If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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