just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Two words: nipple clamps
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