Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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