You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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