You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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