love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
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She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We have so much sex to catch up on
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I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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