just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
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