I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
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Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
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I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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