Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize