put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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