i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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