Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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