Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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