you told grandpa to call you daddy
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize