just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize