Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
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I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
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No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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