new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize