I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize