is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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