I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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