I think I won the penis lottery.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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