He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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