the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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