they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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