I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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