Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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