Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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