when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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