the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I supernannyed him into submission
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize