Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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