At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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