I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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