I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize