me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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