My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
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she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
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There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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