WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize