ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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