the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
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I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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