I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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