my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So squirting runs in the family.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize