i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
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I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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