I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Randomize