I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize