your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
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We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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