I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
as a side note pls kill me
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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